This stunning dress from Lanvin (Spring/Summer 1923) was the inspiration for my latest Gatsby picnic outfit. Our original plan was to do an ode to Prince (“We’re going to party like its 1929…”) but at the last minute plans changed. We still had an entirely purple themed picnic, and this dress was a last minute triumph, but wow, finishing it almost didn’t happen!

To break this down – the original dress is silk and getting silk netting for the lattice part was WAY out of my budget. Due to various life issues last year I had about $100 to spend. I found a poly netting at Joann’s (I know, I know, but it was soft and drapey and within budget so there we are) that worked well. A couple months later I looked at a receipt that happened to have this netting on it and it said “mosquito netting”. HA! If I ASKED for mosquito netting no one would know what I was talking about so I think its HILARIOUS that I managed to find a random bolt that happened to be *just that* and it worked.

THE RIBBON

Let’s talk about the RIBBON. The ENTIRE reason for the dress! If you follow me on Instagram you’ll know that the RIBBON was an adventure. Let’s break this down:

You’ll need around 300-350 yards of the stuff.

Unless you have an unlimited pocketbook you need to find a less expensive source of ribbon that your lovely silk ribbon dealer, who will also need to have at least 300 yards of vintage silk ribbon for you.

Google is your friend, so is Etsy. In my case I found a dealer on Etsy that is in China and had the purple/green version of THIS ribbon for 28 cents a yard. Yes, 10 yards for less than three bucks. Catch is it ships from China. So I tried it. Ordered 50 yards, was delivered in 2 weeks.

COOL. Ordered another 200 yards, just to see if I could get it in the same time frame, delivered in 3 weeks. We’re still good.

SO! I started making roses. Lots and lots and lots of roses. My first 80 (yes, I counted) were big a floofy and kinda wild. That’s ok, that hip band can take floofy. I then trimmed down the size of the roses for the rest of the dress, didn’t need anything floofy and fancy for the ones that are sewn onto the ribbon lattice and those ended up being 6 inches of ribbon and handsewn. ALL the roses were handsewn.

The actual sewing of the lattice was so unevntful I didn’t take any pictures. I had decided the squares were 2″, so I laid my fabric on the cutting mat with the one inch squares (like you see above) and pinned first the vertical strips on, stitched each one of ONE SIDE ONLY, then pinned on the horizontal strips, sewed them on ONE SIDE and finally did the cross strips. I think the first half of the skirt took less than 2 hours with lots of ironing in between. Keep in mind my lovely mosquito netting is STRETCHY on top of its other qualities (which will be important soon so don’t miss it!) and is 72″ wide.

I was itching to get my little flowers sewn on and with “Big Dreams Small Spaces” playing in the background (OMG LOVE Monty Don) I sewed and sewed and sewed and it made me SO HAPPY.

BUT THEN, because there’s always a ‘BUT’ isn’t there….then I figured out I was going to be about 50 yards short. Don’t panic. It’s ok. There’s still 5 weeks until the picnic so I hopped online and ordered RIGHT AWAY. Even if we’re at 3 weeks of shipping we should be good, no?

NO.

Yes, they use tracking but somehow this time the package got stuck in Shanghai for 3+ weeks. It didn’t move. Or at least the tracking showed it stuck. I emailed. Nothing.

In the meantime I was working on our tent set up. Because, again, nothing is easy or straightforward with these events. Our initial guest list was going to be around 18 so we needed 2 tents to cover our tables and food. One by one guests either declined or just didn’t respond so we were down to 8 when I said “I’m only going to do one tent” and no one said yes, no or wait. To be clear – we had decided to not only build the outer cover of the tent but cover the INSIDE as well.

I stated to panic a little, just a little, about the ribbon. Clearly stamping bees onto the fabric that became the inner liner could only occupy me until I finished. Then I started to panic a little more, and then a little more, and then I was in FULL BLOWN PANIC as I had one half of the skirt done and enough ribbon to do 30% of the rest. I actually put everything in a bag and in the basement and had a good cry, figuring that was it. My friends sent me lovely messages of “you can do it!” and “we know you’ll find a way!” as I sat in the heat, under my half finished tent, wondering exactly how I was going to conjure up even a few more yards of ribbon.

Then I looked at those floofy flowers, that took three to fours times the amount of ribbon as the rest, and started to undo them. Yep, hours and hours of work pulled apart. Is there an equivalent term to frogging, like we do in knitting, to ribbonwork? Sigh. I kept pulling apart flowers and piecing the lattice and had enough to do 3/4 of the other side. I cut off the rest and figured no one would be the wiser.

The lavender slip is NOT silk and not because I couldn’t afford it, but because I couldn’t FIND any. I did find a beautiful bamboo rayon at Stone Mountain in Berkeley, it was soft and lightweight and NOT an insulating fabric so if the weather gods day of the picnic did another “oh, hey guys, we know its Oakland but let’s mix things up a bit and take it to 95 today!!” like it did a couple of years ago…I wanted to be comfy. It was COMFY.

I was sewing sewing sewing up to the day before the picnic. But I was doing well. The tent was finished and we figured out how to pack it so we could get it set up without a small army. My dress needed a few more roses but once I took apart most of the floofy ones I had JUST ENOUGH for the dress and a one for each SHOE. HAHAHA!!

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Picture this – its the day before the event, I’ve been working for 4 months on this thing. I get the dress ironed and am ready to hang it up….

AND HENRY PEES ON IT. It’s on the ironing board and he walks up to the part that’s hanging down and lifts his tail….

THANK GOODNESS FOR POLYESTER.

I raced to the sink, rinsed everything off and gave it the sniff test. I threw it on the line and let it air dry so nothing would shrink. Nothing shrank. Henry huffed off because he wasn’t getting my undivided attention and did that cat thing – lounged under the tent as I was packing up, refused to move and gave me that ‘look’.

It took all day to pack the car, fuss over the dress and make sure I didn’t forget to pack the BF’s pants. Thank goodness Tanya and Leslie were doing the food, I was a sweaty mess by the time I fell into bed.

All our hard prep paid off. The picnic was STUNNING.

I stopped counting the number of hours I was putting into any of this, including the dress, when I started ripping apart the flowers. Well over 100. What I’d do differently if I were to make this dress again (and helpful hints if YOU want to try it) –

Order 350 yards of ribbon. Maybe round that up to 400 just in case.

Start more than 2 months in advance, just for giggles 🙂

Seriously, though, when I look at the pics of the dress on me I’d make the squares smaller, I’d give 1 1/2″ a shot. That would add 2 more rows of pattern like in the original. I know I’m not tall but I the pattern on the top looks a little big. I *might* redo the top at some point. Or not.

The really nice thing about the poly mosquito netting I used was I didn’t have to do a single hem. The neckline, armholes, skirt hems are all just cut edges. Nothing frayed or pulled. Yay! I did face the top of the bodice and lined the straps with silk organza for strength. Totally necessary. I did NOT do the trim around the neck and armhole edges that you see in the original. You just get to a point where things are good, nobody has peed on anything in an hour and you don’t want to wreck anything. I had no idea what to use at that point so I left it alone. To invoke my favorite expression “Done is Beautiful”.

DO IT. If you even have a hint of love for this dress just MAKE IT. I was RIDICULOUSLY happy and I not only felt elegant but comfy as well. That’s a win in my book.

OMG I can’t believe its been a YEAR since I last posted!

I just read Rochelle’s post at Lucky Lucille which she ended with: “Instagram was the new blogging but I foresee blogging becoming the new Instagram…” 

For a bit Instagram was the ‘new blogging platform’ and it was great. I mean, you can post something and get IMMEDIATE feedback. Makes the brain happy. Only….only…facebook owns it so they have the same silly algorithm in place that shows you what someone posted 5 days ago and then 17 seconds ago. SO frustrating. In the last year my house has changed, good life circumstances have come up, vacations were enjoyed, sewing projects have moved forward and much has evolved. I’m not going to abandon Instagram but it’s time to get back to this space.

 I’m going to start with the project that meant the most to me LAST year so I can show you all the progress I’ve made THIS year.

THIS

Last year I attended the Miss Fisher Convention. You have all heard of that, right? (just kidding, it was the first year they had it) My daughter had sent me a link to a new convention in Las Vegas so I clicked, bought a ticket, booked air fare and hotel and then had that age old conundrum….what to wear. That image  ^up there^ was stuck in my head.

I had the boots, I had the hat, I just needed to make *everything* else.
See? Accessories!!

The convention was technically scheduled over the course of 3+ days although I couldn’t get off work to fly in Thursday evening for the meet and greets. I still had to come up with outfits for the first day, second day and costume parade/party. Which lead to this:

Which led to learning how to take selfies in the mirror:

I tried doing a wig to imitate Phryne’s hair, that didn’t work out so I ditched it part way through the day.

Which led to some stranger taking pictures of me in a meeting room trying for a better shot of the outfit:

Brief info on the outfit: The jacket was self drafted. It’s a very basic jacket pattern with straight sides, easy straight sleeves and no collar. Marion Boyce does a lot of these long ties instead of a collar for Miss Fisher and while easy to make, those of us with bigger chests find them constantly in the wrong place 😉 To recreate the detail on the sides of the coat I cut bis strips that I then slightly gathered and set onto a rectangular panel that was inserted into the bottom of the coat. I got WAY too gather-happy so mine are much fuller than hers were. I splurged and bought imported Italian wool suiting that I found in the sale area at Stone Mountain & Daughter in Berkeley. I think it was a whopping $8 a yard and made up magnificently. The blouse fabric was ironically a Joann’s find, it came it just as I was looking for something remotely like her blouse fabric and then disappeared forever a month later. #serendipity

I did meet new people and make lots of friends (Hi Laura!)

Then THIS happened:

Recognize them? They’re Travis McMahon and Anthony J. Sharpe, Bert and Cec from the series. The Red Raggers! They were funny, approachable and supremely generous with their time. Anthony actually SANG for us, and nearly made us weep, and the hour they were going to chat with us stretched into two.

It was amazing.

The second day of the convention was the Day of Costume Changes. And Fancy Meals. And Meeting of More Friends. I got the selfie-in-the-mirror thing down.

And I met more friends. This lovely lady is “Doc”

And this is the winner of the overall Miss Fisher Look:

And Laura is wearing a REAL 1920’s dress for her first look of the day:

(Check out her hair, SO GOOD!)

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We had the joy of meeting the supremely talented ladies who do the Miss Fisher Philes podcast (Find it here and LISTEN, you’ll learn SO MUCH!)

And then…..it came time to change into our Fancy outfits, the ones we would compete for a variety of prizes. Yay!

My accessories – the purse is an actual 20’s purse (silver creature on the far right), necklace and earrings are vintage, a gift from my boy friend. They were his mother’s pieces and more 50’s than 20’s but I thought they were beautiful. The shoes are dance shoes so soft soles. adjustable straps and stupidly comfortable. The fascinator on the right was an onsite purchase, more on that later 😉

Dress laying flat, apparently this is the only shot I have that really shows the embroidery.

 

First part of outfit – THE COAT. Pattern is the Sugar Coat from Decades of Style. The fabrics in this entire outfit were either the scraps or the actual wedding dress from my wedding in 2007. I used a sari for the basic part of the wedding dress skirt and train and made an overskirt from a stunning red silk satin I purchased from Exotic Silks a decade ago. All was in a box, just sitting there, and the marriage long over. So I pulled everything out and started taking things apart, calculating where pieces would go and if I’d have enough a VOILA! I bought NOTHING except the gold beads that hold the “organza tacos” onto the coat. It is by FAR one of my favorite makes in a long, long time.

Then there’s the dress. Ta Da!! It is the sari that was the wedding dress!

I used this Ruth Wyeth Spears pattern as my inspiration:

My inspiration for the the skirt overlay layout came from this. I ended up doing two layers since I had LOTS of sari fabric to work with.

And the head piece? Came from this talented seller:

Her name is Debra Shirley and you can find her creations here.

I didn’t recognize this person at first:

Then it dawned on me it was the woman who gave us the history of burlesque and shared with us a show her company in Seattle had put together with a Miss Fisher theme that was a fundraiser for Planned Parenthood. SO MANY cool people!!

With all of that excitement I ended up winning the Best Costume Workmanship prize! Two of the judges were our special guests from the show and they graciously took a pic with me.

My prize? Another headpiece from the talented lady I bought mine from the first day! We’re going to collaborate on a project I’ve had on the back burner for a while.

We had a rollicking good time! I was tired when I got home, which is the best kind of vacation, isn’t it?

There is another convention this year, they’re holding it in Portland. I, alas, am not going. I thought I was going to be elsewhere when they first announced the dates, then when that cancelled the tickets were sold out. I’m going to miss seeing all the friends I made last year but hopefully I’ll be around next year (we’re going to France!) and can show off some more of my 20’s creations.

Update- Due to computer issues I didn’t get this published last week as planned so the Miss Fisher convention just happened. While sad I didn’t go I loved seeing all the pics on Instagram so thank you!

 

Onward!

 

 

The post that I wrote (and thought I posted) is gone, so here we go again.
And the winner of the Colette Sewing Planner is….

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Diane Hudson!!

Diane – I’ll email you but if you see this before I get a chance send me an email!

Updates soon 🙂

I have a feeling we’re going to be having this sort of conversation a LOT in the next four years…

You know what I found out today? Spencer’s gifts and The Spirit Store are part of the SAME corporation. Figures.

That explains this:

Spencer’s thinks the shirts are “ironic”. NO. They promote sexual assault. This is NORMALIZING something that IS. JUST. WRONG.

The woman who originally posted this photo has, of COURSE, been threatened and verbally/facebook/twitter assaulted. What’s worse, is that the shirt has SOLD OUT online. Way to go America. This delightful item is also in their product line-up:

To be fair, this was in there as well:

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There are currently 26 items listed under “Trump” on Spencer’s, the pussy shirt is not one of them. Of the 26 items only 4 could be taken as “anti” Trump. And I’m seriously just not sure WHY this needs to exist:

I called the corporate number for Spencer’s and talked to a very nice young man. He was calm and professional and I felt genuinely sorry that he was caught up in this shit storm. Then again, he’s working for a retailer with oftentimes questionable taste, so I wished him well in his job hunting in the future. If you’d like to do the same here is the number:

1-609-645-3300

To combat the bad taste this left in my mouth I’m going to join the march this Saturday in Oakland. If anyone is local and wants to join me here is a link to info for the march.

See you in your pussy hat 😉

Do you make New Years Resolutions?

Here’s mine:

~ Don’t be an asshole ~

That’s it. Simple in context, the details can be a little more difficult to suss out but there you are.

That’s my goal for 2017. Now for the giveaway part!

Have you seen the new Colette Sewing Planner? Is this your thing?? Want one???

Leave a comment below about a resolution or your sewing or what you wish for in the coming year and I’ll choose a random winner for a brand new, in package planner!

And if you tell a friend and they say you sent them here I’ll add a surprise sewing gift if you’re chosen 🙂

I am DETERMINED to make this a good year!

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And just because all posts should have something pretty to look at:

This is my Soupe Au Pistou (Provencal vegetable soup with garlic, basil and herbs), my latest foray into Mastering the Art of French Cooking While Not Killing Anything. This was EASY AND, weirdly, has ZERO butter in it. The “cheese” on the top is actually vegan Parmesan and yummy! Super important – don’t forget the bread.

 This was a disappointment but really just means I need to make it again to make SURE I don’t like the recipe. It’s the La Marquis (chocolate spongecake) and it’s not very sponge-y. It called for an 8″ pan, I have 7″ and 8.5″ and my mistake was using the larger and not cutting down on the cooking time. It tastes fine but a little dry. I’ve heard from others that they thought it dry when they made it so I need to do this at LEAST two more times 🙂

A friend is helping me out with converting the recipes. We’ve sourced vegan shrimp, scallops, fish, chicken, various beef versions and a sliced/slivered pork. Our next challenge is to see what we can do with Julia’s famous lobster recipes. I re-watched an episode where she talks about the differences in lobster sizing etc. Sigh. I give her credit for her fearlessness.

How are you going to push yourself to be fearless this year?

Several of you who subscribed via Bloglovin’ told me you weren’t getting updates and people who wanted to sign up couldn’t. After we opened a case via Bloglovin’ this is what they said:

“Sorry for the confusion! It seems that our moderation team had blacklisted your site. I’ve reversed this for you….

I certainly didn’t notice any valid reason for your blog to be blacklisted, so it’s quite likely that this was a result of human error.”

Since then I’ve received no emails from Bloglovin’ with updates, mine or anyone else’s. Can a couple of you comment and let me know if you’re getting the Bloglovin’ daily updates and if my blog is listed?

Or tell me what other methods you use and like for letting people know you’ve put up a new post? I’m feeling a little jittery here….

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Here’s the whole setting, although WordPress keeps flipping the pic on its side. Sigh.

I give up. Let me know if you see my posts and have a cookie for me.

 

By now everyone has seen the results of our horrendous divisive political election. There aren’t enough sighs in the WORLD for me right now. I held my daughter as the election results came in and got worse and worse and worse. She sobbed for an hour, fearful for her future and those of her friends. I had no words. Frankly, if it weren’t for the awesomeness of people like Vicki (Another Sewing Scientist), Meg (Meg the Grand) and a couple of other good friends I would have lost all hope. We’re going to take a break, regroup and fight the good fight to make sure we don’t end up back in the 1700’s.

There are a couple of things I want to say before I move on. The sewing community is a wonderful place, full of diverse and lovely people. You are ALL my friends. I stand with ALL of you. What is happening in this country right now is AWFUL.  This quote, from Nate Black, sums things up nicely:

“Not all Trump supporters are racist, but all of them decided that racism isn’t a deal breaker. End of story. “

Or this from Patton Oswalt:

“What I’ve learned so far tonight: America is WAAAAAAAAY more sexist than it is racist. And it’s pretty fucking racist. #ElectionNight “

And I won’t spoil it if you haven’t seen it, just check this out.

And go give our friend Tasha some love as well.

So…. (deep breathe) ….

To that end, we need a DIVERSION! Well, maybe just I need a diversion but that’s what is about to happen.

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I an effort to escape the news I *might* have watched a whole lot of movies….and I *might* have seen “Julie and Julia” a dozen one too many times….and I *might* have pulled out my copy of “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” and I *might* have said “Well, what if I did something like this but no animals died in the process?”

So I’m cooking my way through “Mastering” by doing it vegetarian/vegan. I haven’t eaten meat, other than some salmon at my parents house (because in their world that IS vegetarian), in years. Dairy and I are NOT friends so that’s not hard. I’m well aware that she uses a TON of butter, and that she’s using the chemistry of butter and dairy to make many of her dishes work. I’m going to give it a shot and see what I can come up with.

Things I will do – translate recipes into a vegetarian version as best as I can. I made onion soup the other night, a classic dish that I grew up with, and used vegetable stock instead of beef. Yummy!! If a recipe calls for cream then the creativity starts.

Things I will not do – not going to even try replicating a whole chicken/lamb/roast/whatever. You really want me to sculpt tofu into an animal shape?? SO not the point! A friend asked what I was going to do about Lobster Thermadore? I have no idea. I may ignore it. I don’t know yet.

There are a number of restaurants in my neck of the woods that use meat substitutes that I’m going to consult with. I ASSURE you this isn’t going to be 300 recipes using tofu instead of meat. How dull would THAT be? And so NOT diversionary! There will be pretty pictures and maybe some new tablesettings, and there might be a new dress or two in amongst everything else because DIVERSIONS!!

I invite you to join me as I cook, sew and photograph my way through a project of what appears to be epic proportions 😉 Instant updates happen on Instagram (follow me!), more complete blog posts will happen on this very station.

UPDATE:

Because we ALL need a laugh, go here and read the reviews 🙂

Let’s talk about Halloween a bit, shall we?

As a costume designer I can tell you the last time I got excited about Halloween was for my daughter’s benefit, back in the 80’s and 90’s. We NEVER, ever shopped, because why? I could make anything she wanted, and so I did.

Now that she is grown I wander through the aisles at Target looking only for decorative items, but I happened to wander into a Spirit store the other day in search of a pair of tights and HOLY MOLY.

First of all, just let me say this – the staff were VERY friendly and from the answers given to other customers they seemed to know their stock. I had nothing but a positive experience, partly due to the amount of gore that was NOT present in this particular store. A few years ago, when I was doing the Sew Weekly challenges I needed a hat for a western outfit so I ran into the Spirit store in Walnut Creek and the biggest display inside the door was dismembered body parts. Hundreds of them; arms, legs, feet, hands, they even had a head in a mock-up refrigerator. Trying to explain to the staff how offensive that was was an exercise in futility and I’ve steered clear of these stores for a reason. The store I was in the other night had a few bags of fingers and ears discreetly hidden in amongst the bugs and hair clips. <shrug>

Lest we think I’m a spoil sport here, I’m not. I’m not trying to tell you how to celebrate, I personally don’t think setting up a display that even hints at victims of a notorious serial killer is either cool, fun or tasteful. There was a controversy a couple of years ago about a bloody skinned corpse dog that you could “drag around by a chain” and a Cecil the Lion killer costume last year. People think they’re funny because we’ve blurred the lines of funny/ghastly to include all that is ‘gory’ and there are still lines, people. Lines that ought not be crossed. Only click on those links if you have a strong stomach.

So that begs the question – what is up?

Others have written about why we like to be scared. I’m going to go a different direction, to me the day has always been about being able to dress up as something we fantasize about. Maybe try something out we normally can’t get away with (for many years the number one rental was men wanting to be women, some caricatures, but many just vampy. Don’t know why, don’t care, it’s all supposed to be about having fun and I support that).

And since we’re less than 2 weeks away from a very contentious election, where we have the first female candidate running for President against a man that can best be described as racist, misogynistic, homophobic and just a plain old asshat, what is it about our culture that, in many small ways, has been saying that kind of behavior is OK?

So let’s see what I found at this store the other night and why it promotes the kind of environment where women are treated as objects and see what kind of legacy we’re leaving for our kids, m’k?

(All photos of bagged costumes were taken by me in the store, the ones with the white background were downloaded from the Spirit site. My phone ran out of battery part way through 🙁 )

 Right here. This.

Boys get serious outfits.

Girls get cleavage.

These are a couple of the choices for men’s Police uniforms. There is NO female equivalent of the men’s outfit.The other interesting thing to note – sizes. The men’s costumes go all the way up to X-Large 48/50 chest. The woman’s version goes up to M/L 8-12.

Size 12. THAT’S their version of a Large.

Here’s an example of two outfits done RIGHT:

Her skirt is short but covers her crotch (Hallelujah!) and it isn’t overly sexual. It’s cute, they’d be cute together.

NOTE: I’m not saying it’s not OK to have fun at Halloween, and if that version of it means you dress up in a more overt manner than the rest of the year then go for it! I’m saying that having NO OTHER CHOICES than the overtly sexual is limiting and debasing.

Moving on:

If you want to be a surgeon or doctor then the guys have choices:

The women do not.I can’t even begin a conversation about the shoes.

Again, if you want to be a sexy doctor then GO FOR IT. But if you want to emulate an actual doctor you’ll have to buy the men’s version.

Try selling this idea to an 11 year old.

And then there are these:

Just so you don’t lose the full impact of this ensemble, it is denoted as “Dr. Howie Feltersnatch, Gynecologist”. Is this a Simpson’s character? I’m out of the loop on this so if someone could fill me in that would be great. Otherwise its just Ewww and I’m old.Dr. Seymour Bush.

No. Just no.

I’m trying to find SOME justification for this but no. And I keep trying to figure out WHAT KIND OF GUY wants to go to a party as a gynecologist? Does he REALLY think some woman is going to let him ‘examine’ her? And ladies….never mind. I can’t even ask.

What if you want to be a nurse?

Because it comes with TWO syringes… And we also have –Ummm…

I’m sure every nurse wishes she had a pair of these!

I’m not saying you shouldn’t have fun but THESE ARE YOUR ONLY CHOICES if you want to dress up as a nurse!

(Caveat – when I went to their website I found a few other options but all are form fitting and all have considerable cleavage showing. This is the only outfit that doesn’t show everything)

And the hits just keep on coming:

As far as ‘couples costumes’ go this isn’t bad on the surface – he’s wine, she’s cheese, it’s cheesy. But look at the label on the wine bottle – “4 Play Have a little, get a lot”.
<shaking my head>

Rape culture alive and well.

It’s electrifying. Or not…

And there is THIS:

Need I say more?
But there IS more:

“Includes: Skeleton Jumpsuit, Mask with Attached Hood, Gloves, Faux Phallus and Air Pump.”

So you can be disgusting and no one knows who you are?

If you’re going to an adult party or doing adult things with a consensual partner, Huzzah! But would you really want to bump into this guy on the street?

Then, just because we can’t leave the women out of the Super Tacky WTH category, we have this:

“One size fits most – fits up to a size 10”, complete with fake felt boobs with nipples, super short skirt, tacky sash and a ‘t-shirt’.Sigh.

There are only 4 categories of “Occupations” being sold currently – Cops & Convicts, Doctors, Firefighters & Military. Let’s go back to Law Enforcement.

Nice copy, one size fits most, not bad. If you’re a man…Not terrible but seriously, BOOBS. And small sizes.

Wait for it….Because EVERYTHING HAS TO BE SEXUALIZED.

Once again, I’m not saying don’t be sexy, don’t have fun. I’m asking for female equality when it comes to costumes! If these companies can do decent male versions they ought to be able to produce a decent female version. I’m guessing their arguments are 1) they don’t sell and 2) why not buy the male version?

Here are my answers:

1. They’ve conditioned the market, via the culture, to make everything sexual. We’ve been so inured to being objects that when a Presidential candidate says things like “I grabbed her by her …..” there are thousands of men AND women who THINK THAT’S OK and spend countless hours defending those remarks! (And yes, there are thousands/millions of people who called him and everyone like him out on crap like that but the fact that this country is STILL having that conversation is sad. And more than I want to go into here so please leave your remarks on the political pages and let’s just talk about clothing here, ok?)
2. Buying the male version is fine. Why not take a picture of the same outfit on a woman and market it as such? They could have done that with the doctor and surgeon outfits but didn’t.

Any defect in the cost of viagra any of these can lead to ED, including high lipid counts and too many liver enzymes. Tentax Forte: http://www.midwayfire.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/September-21-2015.doc acquisition de viagra Himalaya Tentex Forte is a non-hormonal and safe sexual stimulant. So, men with this habit facing ED, should immediately quit alcohol cheap viagra india check these guys out usage to get out of their money. Less viagra prices http://www.midwayfire.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Pension-Valuation-as-of-09302016-data.pdf than 20% of male sexual impotence cases have a catastrophic effect on one’s health. And what if you’re a kid? Shopping with your parent? And you ask for a police costume? How do the teenagers working at Spirit explain all THIS?? ESPECIALLY if you’re a girl.

If you’re a kid and want to be a cop check out Target’s version:

Target gets ALL THE POINTS for their version of a Police Officer. Yay Target!!!

Now let’s talk about Firefighters:It’s not <so> bad. The fingerless gloves seem weird to me but whatever.

Ummmm….Sigh.

Interestingly, THIS is the men’s version of ANYTHING Firefighter-like:

Note when they mean to show ACTUAL skin they’re using a painted t-shirt to denote physique. Not like the girls stuff which has real skin out for all to see.

If you’re a guy and want to dress anything close to a real firefighter you’re going to have to go to Party City for this version:

Let’s move on to the Military.

Want to be a fighter pilot? Cool. Here’s a decent version of the jackets worn in “Top Gun”:

But if you’re a girl…

You even get a choice between being Maverick or Goose. Did they pay royalties for that?

If you want to do Camo you can do this…

Or this…

I’m not sure how many Paratroopers wear three inch heeled boots but OK, this is Halloween and we’re supposed to be having fun. At least you can zip the jumpsuit up higher if you choose. Again, a size large is considered a 12/14 so we’re telling women that “LARGE” is a 14. No. But I’d like to know what real female paratroopers have to say about this.

SERIOUSLY??It’s called “Desert Dolly Costume”. The fishnets are prime. Might as well call this the “Bundy Wet Dream” outfit or give it to a Trumpette.

Sailors?

Not bad. But the female equivalents aren’t remotely close.

This was the least offensive thing I could find.

You can go a whole other direction, go to the Rockabilly side:

She’s adorable.

And here is where my eyebrows shot nearly off my face:

She’s a “Thing”. And is “Shore” a riff on “Sure”?

Let’s separate out the words and the picture. The words are HIDEOUS. She’s not even a person, she’s a THING. The outfit itself is kind of cute, in a musical theater sort of way. It’s short, it shows cleavage but if you’re going for cutesy and bringing out a side of you you only trot out once a year then go for it. The naming of this is a clear Marketing Failure. #Failure

Moving on to Astronauts – somehow this didn’t get a nod in “Occupations” but here we are:

Not bad. but then there’s this –

The make-up, the cleavage, the SHOES, the make-up! Sigh.

But once again, Target gets it right:

How hard would it be to make a big version of this and take a pic with a girl or woman wearing it? Seriously, I want to know.

Now we’re going to move on to the stuff that shouldn’t even exist.

It’s a culture, not a costume. #appropriation

Are you kidding me? No. Just no.

The boobs and the strapless and short skirt and Ugh.

White guy wearing a ceremonial headdress and  WTF??Another white dude in a hideous knock-off.

Blonde hair, high heels and bright pink. I think I threw up in my mouth a little as I typed this.And then there’s this guy, in a white t-shirt under a red shirt.

“Hey Greg, the model didn’t show up today, you’ve got a nice red shirt there. Put this on and smile for us, we’re on a tight schedule….”

How about NO? Or even HELL NO?

And let’s not leave the kids out –

And then there’s THIS:

I can’t even….Who in the HELL thought THIS was a good idea?? ESPECIALLY the placement of the “Thank You” and the “Enjoy” on each boob?? @realDonaldTrump
I don’t have enough UGGGHHH’S for this ^ or the next one:

And we’ll wrap it up with this. Because OH HELL NO.

So this is the message we’re putting out there for everyone. Boys get realistic, girls get sexy. Most of our choices are ‘sexy’ when given the opportunity they could give us equal efforts.

This is what the average consumer is being fed as “cool” and “now”.

Adults can tell the difference and make choices, but what we can show the kids around us is a confusing message that we think doesn’t matter because “it’s only one day a year’. Is it any wonder that the war on women goes on?

Update

While out running errands today I drove by the Spirit store in Walnut Creek so I popped in. Much larger store, larger selection and low and behold these:

Impressive.

Nice.

Yes!

Ummm…

Well, that was too good to last.

Ironically I spotted this the same time two girls, who looked to be about 11, found it as well:

“Anita Bribe, that’s funny.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I-need-a-bribe, get it now?”

“Oh! That IS funny! Does it come in my size?”

Sigh. But this suit made me smile, I wish I knew someone who would wear a complete suit WITH tie in this print 🙂

So what are your favorite hits and misses? One of my friends said her idol growing up was Marie Curie and wondered how she would make a ‘costume’ that portrayed her. I’m kicking around the idea of doing a line of “costumes” that portray real heros, since they don’t (usually) wear a cape. Like a star printed vest for a Neil deGrasse Tyson, or a pretty floral skirt with headdress for Frida Khalo, you get the idea. There is THIS website, that shows you numerous historical female outfits and gives you a history lesson.

Chime in with what you’d like to see and you never know…