There are several posts I have half written. One on beauty, or the perceptions of it; more details on my Western dress and the event I wore it to; a tribute to Mila, more details about my Halloween outfit…

But all of that will have to wait.

When I started blogging a year and a half ago with Retro Deco Settings it was understood that if anything “bad” happened with Ariel then we would take a break. Ari had benn diagnosed with a relapse of her cancer on Valentines day. She battled through not one, not two but THREE relapses. We/I kept on blogging. There were times we stumbled but we kept on.

Now we’re nearing the end of Ariel’s fight and are so devastated that words fail me. The above pic was taken yesterday morning after Elora got dressed for Halloween at school. She is cradling her twin sisters head and you can see how closed Ari’s eyes are. The tumor (one of many) that is pressing on her brain stem is causing her eyes to close and her sight to fail.

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We were hoping to get her to Halloween conscious but that didn’t happen. She was too out of it from the pain meds last night to participate. Then someone, upset at not receiving any updates on Ari’s condition (quote from Crystal ” She is my daughter, not a reality show”) tweeted that Ari had died.

Un-freaking-believable.

By the time Crystal mitigated that damage she was done. Elora and their older brother Ian went out with friends and Crystal, Jason and Ari just withdrew into their world. Today she had complications from one of her meds that caused severe dehydration. There was a short time we thought she would be admitted to a hospice facility but the team at Children’s in Oakland stabilized her and she’s home for now. The plan is to help get the house decorated for Christmas and celebrate this Sunday.

Any sewing and projects will be done around what we need to do to support Ari and her family. If the worst thing we can imagine happens then things will go dark for a while. Posts may be late or sad. It’s the way life is right now. My own daughter is struggling to help and understand since ALL we can do is love and support this family. We can’t fix this, we can’t change the outcome. Our hearts break for this family but we’ll get through it.

So I have a list : ) I love lists. I’ll get through the list of things I’d like to share. It may help to talk about something else every now and then. We’ll keep pushing forward until we have to change directions. Stay with me, I’ll be back : )